Saturday, 12 November 2011

GC, Day 12 - Dreams

I have always dreamt intensely and often - remembering 3 dreams a night is not unusual for me - which has meant many a night has seen me wake up bolt upright from dreams that seemed more real than daytime life. It has meant a lot of time trying to work out what they're trying to tell me.

That might seem like a nightmare to some, but I love it, because it's like stepping into other worlds, sometimes several in a night, and it's like having an extra messenger or an extra classroom - even with dreams like last night's:

In the dream, two teeth on the lower right side of my mouth came out when I pushed my tongue against them. This happened after a fortnight of my teeth not feeling like my own. I was in the midst of pushing at my teeth with my tongue (an old habit) when they both came out.

I panicked and burst into tears. In a panic I tried to put them back and they crumbled into pieces, and I noticed that there was a long contraption that looked like it had been keeping one tooth in its place since childhood, and I pulled it out.

I put my shattered teeth into a ziploc bag, desperate to the point of tears to find a dentist. I kept getting distracted and ended up having to meet people (I was somewhere sunny - blue, blue sky and beautiful ocean - everything was blue, actually) and trying not to smile.

Finally, my friend SK found me an appointment with her NHS dentist and made the appointment for me the next day (she was the receptionist, oddly enough), and I was going to get new teeth - better than the old ones, though I was really stressed about the intervening time. I also tried to ring EE, a dentist friend back home, to find out what to do, and to tell her that I wished I was within reach of her office! To add insult to injury, I got a message from Halifax bank (not mine) that someone had taken thousands out of my account over time.

Freakily enough, S has just signed up with a dentist and had a recent message from Halifax - but there's also a message for me here - about stepping out of the dark into the light (the kitchen/house I was in was dark and didn't let in enough light; going out to see others in BRIGHT sunshine, not a cloud in the sky), letting go of the old and trusting in the new.

But unsettling as it was, I am thankful for this dreams and all the others - messengers with lessons I need to learn.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am getting two messages from this dream for you: First of all the contraption in your mouth seems as if there were things put in place during childhood for your protection that sort of worked for you to protect you - but they were not entirely appropriate and it is only now that that you are able to realise this and get rid of them and put things to rights.
Secondly, the teeth crumbling and the money being taken out of your account seem almost the same thing to me - while you are paying attention to other things in life, you are neglecting to pay attention to your real self and what you need, and while this is happening, people are taking more out of you than you realise without feeding you or giving back to you what you need. Then the weather being fine but you still experiencing anxiety seems to me like the realisation that much as life seems OK, the loss of what you really need is more important once you realise that, and that in spite of everything on the surface appearing to be fine it is not!

In short: you need more 'Irim time' to replenish your soul and yourself and to pay attention to your real needs - because without this, people will take advantage of you and will not always allow you the time you really need. The people who are your friends in the dream are there to help you, but do not always realise what the real you is like and what the real you needs - hence the frustration that you are experiencing in the dream. (I was taught that any emotion you experience in dreams is an indicator to how important certain happenings or things are to you in real life...)

Thank you for sharing that with all your loyal readers of your blog!