Thursday, 28 February 2008

Earthquake explanations...

It's just so wrong.

I went to bed at 00.30 Wed morning, the earthquake hit at 00.56, and I SLEPT THROUGH IT. I'm absolutely gutted like a fish.

However, my housemate, Clare, woke up during the earthquake. Now, England doesn't get a lot of earthquakes, so when you first wake up and the room is shaking you think: "I must be dreaming." When it keeps shaking and you can hear your bottles of perfume rattling on your dresser, you try to find another explanation. We live near the ring road and on an RAF flight path, so I expect I'd think, "That lorry is taking a long time to go by" or "God, that plane is low."

But when I debriefed Clare last night, she offered one I hadn't thought of yet:

"At first, I thought someone was having violent sex."

I looked at her, but couldn't keep a straight face. "What, you thought A's boyfriend had arrived during the night?"

We both started laughing. "Well, no, I knew no one was *here* (THANKS on behalf of the housies, babe, that makes us feel OH SO DESIRABLE!), so I thought it was next door."

Hmmmm. Definite possibility. I'm sure it was probably the first time our 80 year old next door neighbour pulled out his S&M equipment since his hip op. Or maybe it was his 70-something wife pulling out her new giant Rabbit vibrator. God knows, they're loud enough at the regular size...

Absolutely bloody brilliant.

And you can tell why Clare and I are such good friends. Great minds...


Anonymous said...

Perhaps Shlomo Benizri was doing something he should not have done...?

Irim said...


Marvellous - you may well be right about that!

My personal favourite (after Clare, of course) was a woman who woke up during the earthquake and thought it was her husband farting.

As operastalker said, that would had to have been one hell of a curry, and I'll add that he would have had to have been pretty darn big, because that would have taken one long intestinal tract...