Wednesday, 27 February 2008

Grim hymns...

It is beyond my comprehension how a country that produced the likes of Thomas Tallis, Charles Wesley and William Chatterton Dix, to name just a few, can allow hymns like this in ANY sort of worship (and off-key, to boot):

All Heaven Declares

The glory of the riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisen looooooooooooooord [Risen? He's the bread of life, remember? Yeast and see that the Lord is good!]

Who can compare
with the beauty of the lord [Alan Rickman, Colin Firth as Darcy, Nigel Harman, Daniel Craig...]

Forever you will be
the lamb upon the throne [can I have you with Yorkshire pudding and gravy??]

I gladly bow my knee
And Worship You alone! [well, maybe alongside Krishna and Isis...but you're ok with that as long as they're not before you, right?]

I will proclaim
the glory of the riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisen Loooooooooooooord. [esp if he's challah, my favourite kind! Though I might go with Ruth and ask for a bagel. Onion, please!]

Grim grim grim.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Don't stand under tall trees during a thunderstorm, Irim...

8 comments:

operastalker said...

And they say that Kafflicks have poor musical abilities.... I tell you, at least they don't sing....

Anonymous said...

Personally I prefer my bagels with poppy seeds, or (even though it is probably a travesty) raisins...

I think my utterly worst hymn of all time is 'We are the Easter People', which was written apparently for the papal visit in 1982. Its musical qualities are almost zero; its theology is not so bad, but the music is So Grim...

Irim said...

Raisin bagels are classics, no travesty there!

Oh my god, if you know me at all, you know I'm going to go find that hymn right now - and pop an ibuprofen right after...

*slaps forehead*

Yeah, operastalker, you're spot on. Unless they're behind me at the Oratory, which guarantees they're an even worse singer than I am...

Ixx

operastalker said...

Or if it's B'friars, they all look in my general direction (even the D/deaf ones...) 'cos I'm the only one usually singing - and LOUDLY at that....

Ariel said...

My personal least-favourite was this horrifying little number they used to sing at my mother's church - it began something like, 'Don't be worried on account of the wicked; don't be jealous of those who do wrong,' or something like that. The words were appalling and the tune was even worse.

Ari.xx

Irim said...

Ah yes...straight out of psalm 37:

"Don't be worried on account of the wicked; don't be jealous of those who do wrong. They will soon disappear like grass that dries up; they will die like plants that wither. Trust in the LORD and do good; live in the land and be safe. Seek your happiness in the LORD, and he will give you your heart's desire"

Ariel said...

Yes! I'm not sure all of it was from the psalm, though.

Ariel said...

On the other hand, my favourite hymn, back in the day, was the one based on Ruth's speech to Naomi. You know the one?