Sunday, 16 January 2011

Day 4. 7 Things that cross your mind a lot

1. Mass train of thought: Interesting hymn choice...crap modern mass setting...the MC is SLOW - what part of 'be in front of the celebrant on the last note' DO YOU NOT GET? - RUN this mass, don't let it run you...this is a mass, not a concert, and the choir is still deeply crap; E needs to go...ooooh, the ministers look CROSS and there's some sotto voce going on, find out what after mass...sermon thoughts...mmmm, incense is NOT Basilica - rose? myrrh?...they really need to let me TRAIN their altar servers...OMG, he's really thin and his ass looks HUGE in that lace cotta...right, off to clear the pews of hymn books this privileged congregation can't seem to pick up themselves/No, this week, someone else can do it.

2. We're 1:47 into the sermon - clerical hobbyhorse/insecurity/personal issues coming up in 5...4...3...2...1 - Houston, we have liftoff!

3. Cute baby/kid/father-daughter moment! *melt*

4. Oh. This is an ordinary moment, and it is totally rocking. I love my peops, where I am and what I'm doing right now, simple as it is. Beauty.

5. I have the absolute best, most awesome friends in the world. I do not deserve them, but thank you, God.

6. ARE YOU ON CRACK?

7. How do I do this; how can I be here for them? What if I'm the wrong person, what if I fuck up? I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS! Oh wait, yes I do. Breathe. Be present. Listen. Love. And get the hell out of the way of that which is greater than you, working through your intuition - G-d, Source, Holy Spirit, collective unconscious - and let It do what needs doing.

3 comments:

CEAD said...

Oh, man, number 6... HAHAHAHAHA.

This entire list is so totally you; I love it. I particularly love number 1, because I can hear you muttering that. It was one of the reasons I liked sitting in front of you at Mass, even before we were friends. It always made me smile, because it was always exactly what I was thinking. You'd mutter 'Give me a break,' and I'd just start grinning my head off.

I love you.

Ari.xx

Irim said...

You have NO IDEA (well, actually, maybe YOU do) how often I think 6.

*Hugs* love you too, she'enedra.

I'm glad you love this...it's interesting, because I thought I was going to put one in about dissonance in people, or about 'wait, that's a pattern', but I'm not sure that's conscious thought - so I didn't know if it counted.

But even if it did, these felt more right, more me. They just wrote themselves - which is as it should be, I suppose.

xx

CEAD said...

I think I do have a bit of an inkling, yes...

*hugs back*

I'm finding in doing this meme that it really does write itself; it's interesting. Even the ones that are harder: I think about them long enough, and then something always comes. Or I've written something that wasn't quite perfect but seemed okay, and then suddenly I realise, 'No, not that: this.' Best meme ever.

Ari.xx