Tuesday, 12 September 2006

Gotta get back in time...

Reason #591 to insert filter between brain and mouth:

This evening, after I'd made dinner, I needed a show as filler for the 8-9 slot before "CSI:Miami". Usually, I go for "NCIS" (and the very sexy Mark Harmon), but tonight I felt like a blast from the past: "Buck Rogers in the 25th century" (1979-1981). Wonderfully awful acting, tacky late 70s tight costumes, Atari "Super Pong" special effects. Brilliant.

Brief synopsis:
Captain Buck Rogers is piloting a space shuttle launched in 1987. Due to a freak accident, he is frozen in space for 504 years and is revived in the year 2491 on an Earth rebuilt following a nuclear war in the late 20th century [hence "New Chicago"], now run by the Earth Defense Directorate. His partners in destroying all evil are the dignified Dr Huer; the pretty and capable, but sexually repressed, Wilma (!!) Deering; his irritating sidekick robot Twiki (favourite catchphrase "Biddi biddi biddi"); and the disk Twiki carries that is the illuminated face of Dr Theopolis, top scientist. His archenemy is the evil, sexy, do-nothing Princess Ardala. (Hmmm. Wonder where those stereotypes of women came from.)

My housemates, Mark (Jack's replacement) and Suzanne, showed some vague interest and sat down with their respective dinners. After ten minutes of watching scantily clad women (with the exception of Wilma and women of a certain age, of course) walk across the screen, Mark piped up and said:

"This is Bravo, right? This must be the prelude to the porn that they show later on."

Fork halfway to mouth, I tore myself away from Wilma telling Buck how very special he was to her, and how he'd made her feel things she'd never felt before and wouldn't have if he hadn't come along (sweetheart, either take care of your own needs or get therapy) to look at Mark. Suzanne had done the same. Mark, flustered, said:

"I mean, that's what I think."

Suzanne cackled and said, "I didn't know Bravo showed porn."
Irim: "Neither did I."

We waited for further comment, but Mark took to his room amidst our giggles. However, it put a whole new spin on the rest of the show. For example:

Shandar (pretty blonde in very short dress) to Buck: You're very quiet, Captain.

Projected Buck response post-Mark: Well, it's very hard to hide - and ignore - certain things when you're wearing tight white polyester pants. [Note to UK readers: "trousers"]

Well, well, well. Looks like our new, quiet, sweet, cricket loving housemate is showing hidden depths. I think we're gonna get on just fine...

Second nomination for quote of the night: "Thank God he's Orthodox [Jewish] and I'm a virgin."

Sounds like a night of raw passion between the sheets, then.

Biddi biddi.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Enough already with those sentiments, or as a well known traditional Catholic hymn puts it 'Sing gaily in chorus'... Not that you or anyone in your household would necessarily do so...