Ok, I'm changing font size. We'll see how this works.
H/T to Reiza, who put this up on her blog as a superb explanation of the differences between Chanukkah and Christmas. I'm particularly appreciating it as a Jewish couple came into work today, and my blood pressure plummeted the moment I heard the man say, "Baruch Hashem" [loosely, "Thank God"]. They nearly gave themselves whiplash when I wished them "Chanukkah sameach", and we had a lovely chat about the school where I taught. I felt a warm glow as they left, as if from...a menorah and latkes frying gently in the kitchen.
Having said that, I know this is irreverent, and even more so on Christmas Eve, but raise your hand if you can imagine me saying this to Joseph just before he travels off to Bethlehem (preferably in my new, beautiful, Limoges blue slanket):
12. Many Christians believe in the virgin birth. Jews think, “Yossela, Bubela, snap out of it. Your woman is pregnant, you didn’t sleep with her, and now you want to blame G-d? Here’s the number of my shrink”.
*Raises hand abashedly* Yeah, me too.
See you at Midnight Mass.
[ETA: Please read the comment section and join in. It's better than the entry.]