Tuesday, 1 April 2008

1 April 2008

Marvelous. Simply marvelous. I loved this so much, I must have been Loki in a previous life.

This morning, I put out an email and facebook status with the same theme: my decision to become a member of a religious order.

Here's the email in full:

Well, it looks like God finally got me.

Last night, after months of thought and prayer, I came to the inescapable conclusion
that the Catholic Church is the One True Church and that maybe I need to bend to
authority a little bit more and just let God do some work.

It's just...TRUE. Maybe it's time I made my life a little easier and went with the flow.

And I've decided that since men seem to be a fruitless area for me - I do seem to pull in
the emotionally unavailable/wounded ones who just won't look at/deal with their own
issues squarely in the face - I'm done. There's just no point in wasting what I have to
offer on men who can't appreciate it, accept it and just love me for who I am - all of it.
You can't have the wonderful bits without the irimtating ones. And I'm so through with
walking on eggshells and the emotional games.

So I'm looking into religious life - why not? It's an easy life - structured, food, shelter,
someone always telling you what to do. I've struggled long enough. Now it's time to
coast.

So it looks like the convent it is. I'll keep you posted.

And if ANY of you believed ANYTHING but "I do seem to pull in ... emotional games"
(minus the "I'm done" - I just love men too dearly to, as Joseph would put it,
"put them down"):

1. Check your calendar and time of day.
2. You haven't seen me in a while or haven't known me
for very long.

To the OPs - hope the chapter is going swimmingly well. VB, welcome home!

Lots of love to all of you on April Fool's Day. Now if you'll excuse me, there's some
iconoclasty for me to be getting on with...

Ixx
Almost immediately, a response from a favourite cleric: "That's very naughty!"

As he IS a religious and I couldn't read tone over email, I responded cautiously, rather than in my usual cheeky tone.

But the response that is probably going to be untoppable comes from V (not the VB mentioned above):

Bitch!

That was the funniest and absolutely scariest April Fools that anyone has
ever played on me.

I was about to get some wild horses and a carriage to come and drag you to your senses.

Woooo...at least the giving up men part was believable.

I need go and change now, as I wet myself near the end of that email!
;)

Luvs,

V

PS. If you ever did decide to become a nun, I'd still love you just as fervently. So :P

Looks like we both need Depends (or Attends, depending on where you are), as I wet
myself at the end of her email.

Just one thing, V - you say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing...



3 comments:

Vera Nadine said...

I used to always say:

"Witch by nature, bitch by choice."

;)

Irim said...

Amen, sistah! Testify.

By the pricking of my thumbs, something Wicca this way comes!

To which my response is:

Park your broomstick, come in and have some tea...

Ixx

Ariel said...

That is one of the very best April Fools jokes I've ever heard of! You evil genius, you!

Ari.xx