Tuesday, 10 June 2008

Chaperone cat

Absolutely brilliant. I'm still laughing.

As a well-endowed female, I've had my share of men talk to my cleavage rather than my face, and only once have I had the nerve to say, "If you want to know what my bra size is, why don't you look me in the eye and ask me?"

Let me be clear from the start: sexual harrassment and objectification of *either* gender is NOT acceptable. Within that framework, though, I have to admit
- and I'll probably get flamed by the sisterhood for this - that I love my cleavage, and a man talking to it merely amuses me. I'm a gleeful exponent of the 'four millisecond' rule: every male, straight or gay, looks at a woman's cleavage for 4 milliseconds before looking up. If a guy breaks the four millisecond rule (i.e., looks for longer), I tend to assume he's straight. Having serious cleavage is great gaydar confirmation.

I suspect I'm not bothered because I'm not a beautiful woman (the only way I'll stop traffic is by using the crosswalk light at pedestrian crossings), so I don't get stared at and treated as an object/commodity. I'm prett
y enough for all normal purposes, to quote "Our Town", and that's good enough for me. The guys staring at my chest whilst talking to me already know me and are interested in what I'm *saying* whilst admiring my assets, which is a different kettle of fish from the leering stranger with a drink in hand.

For the latter type, chaperone cat with sharp claws would be extremely useful:

I love the wee added comment on icanhascheezburger:

but her eyez r sew purtee.

So, guys, don't forget to look up - you may even find out more than just her bra size.


32H said...

Indeed, be proud of your bosoms. I am of mine and I don't get too bothered by the gentlemen (*coughmybossincludedcough*) having an occassional glance. It's flattering sometimes. And look at it this way, Katie Price has to get hers rebuilt every 10 years. Yours were free and look better!

And look, your cleavage made £120 in the Race for Life! Go breasts!

Anonymous said...

As someone who most emphatically does not qualify as heterosexual, I'd like to say that there will always be that point of difference between us: I've always found you striking/beautiful, whatever you say or think!

Yours admiringly,

gay fan

Ariel said...

I think I agree with Anonymous on this one. You don't conform to the stereotypical cookie-cutter beauty urged on us by the media, but that doesn't mean you're not beautiful. (And anyway, a lot of those women are only pretty, at best.)

As an underendowed female, I've always been jealous. I don't think I've ever caught a guy breaking the four-millisecond rule. (I did catch one guy staring at my legs once, though. That was kind of gratifying.)