Friday, 15 December 2006

A cricket prayer...

To amuse and cheer up all my clerical cricket fan friends, as well as those who are Catholic and Anglican laity. I'm not being discriminatory, it's just that they're the ones closest to the shape of the mass, and will thus understand the following re-write of the responses and the Eucharistic preface.

I am so going to hell for this, but it will be oh so worth it:

V: Blessed art thou, our new bowling attack, for limiting the Aussies to under 300 and giving our
batters an easy chance. We are sorry they wasted it.
R: Blessed be the bowlers in this match and all that follow.

V: Blessed art thou, Kevin Pietersen, no. 5 batsman, for helping our innings to over 200 and
holding the tail together. Please value your essential wicket more highly.
R: Blessed be Kevin in this match and all that follow.

Preface for the third day:

O game of heaven, it is right that we should always give thanks for you: you are the one
Game of the heavenly hosts. Through all eternity you are played by those in unapproachable light.

Source of summer joy and agony, you have shown us many things, you teach God's creatures
with every inning and help all men to understand the necessity of balance. May we always
remember that good bowling must be capitalised on by good batting, or we will always
lose, and never come to fullness of understanding of all your lessons for us.

United with the angelic teams, and in the name of every creature under heaven and the words
of 10cc, we too sing your praises as we say:

We don't like cricket, oh no, we love it.
I'd recommend not standing near me in a thunderstorm anytime soon...or maybe for the rest of my life.

Oh, and Chanukkah sameach to all my Jewish friends!

No comments: