Having mentioned Donatella's clerically inspired menswear for the Winter 2007-2008 season, I assiduously scoured the web for pictures and met success at this excellent fashion site for men. I found two clerically inspired (if it were 1965, we'd be calling them "Nehru jackets") suits. From behind curtain #1:
Nice clean lines, a bit different, simple and elegant...not bad at all. Tough to wear, however, and not just because you'd need a neck slightly shorter than a giraffe's (or Petunia Dursley's, for HP fans). "But wait," I hear you wail, as you frantically scroll down to the Priestly panache pilot episode..."You said it was dead easy to look sexy in clericals!"
Indeed I did. In the first instance, I'm saying that it's tough to wear because I've seen so many of my clerical friends tug at their collar, and in some cases, shift it off to the side or take it out so they can unbutton that top button - which you can't do with a jacket collar. That makes me think that, after a while, it can feel claustrophobic (in the case of the priesthood, in more ways than one, I suspect.) Second, with clericals, the jacket is the traditional single-breasted, V-neck cut, which lengthens and slims the upper body and offsets the buttoned-up, neck-shortening collar. In this case, the suit *jacket* is high-necked, making the entire torso one large area . If you're well-toned, great. A bit of a beer belly/man boobs starting to develop? Steer clear.
The version behind curtain #2 makes the single-breasted, single-vent version look as forgiving as a saintly priest:
Double-breasted and double-vented make this doubly unforgiving for the same reasons listed above. Carrying off a double-vented, slightly shorter back requires 'buns of steel', which means that there is NO scope for a spare ounce of fat, even on the usually well-hidden male bum. Seeing that fashion can be as hard on men as on us gives me a shneaky shenshe of schadenfreude. (No, I'm not drunk, I just couldn't resist the alliteration. So sue me.)
But let me tell you, put a well-toned man in jacket #2 near a group of women, and he won't be wearing it long. Whilst it exposes bodily flaws, it accentuates the toned male body like nothing else. Jack, my ex-housemate, well-known for his daily trips to the gym, 'naughty boy' cheekiness, and coming down from the shower through the lounge in nothing but a towel (result!), once walked INTO the lounge in a double-breasted suit jacket. There was momentary ice-skating in hell as I was rendered absolutely speechless due to a fleeting Lynx effect (which, by the way, has nothing to do with Lynx, as the stuff reeks like cat pee).
Fantastic.
Having said all that, I still want to make the sartorially unwise move of wearing a mid-thigh length, feminine version of jacket #1 (and probably earning the nickname "Twin Peaks" in the process) to work - with a pencil skirt, fishnets and heels. Just once.
Not to raise eyebrows or scandalise the Catholic establishment. At all.
Honest.
Ah, afternoon coffee break...and I shamelessly confess to stealing a story from Rocco Palmo's blog and putting a female slant on it.It is *very* hard to look sexy in a cassock - in clericals, it's dead easy (as a friend of mine discovered when a model told him as much) because it's very similar to wearing a suit; but in a cassock, or even worse, a habit, it's bloody near impossible. You need broad shoulders, narrow hips and a well-fitted cassock - there's a seminarian up the road who has all three and looks like a fashion plate. The Dominicans, bless them, are handicapped by colour (white, bleargh!) and cut of habit. They do, however, look fab between All Souls' and Easter, when they wear their black cappas over said habit.Ok, fair enough...these are men vowed to celibacy and chastity, and they're not - and shouldn't be - trying to turn heads. However, when one does manage it, he's overcome such odds that I feel it is worthy of mention. Fr Gaenswein, private secretary to the Pope, is one such man. So much so, in fact, (as per Rocco) he has inspired Donatella Versace to include a clerically themed suit in the Milan menswear show for winter 2007-2008. Here's a picture of the man himself in cassock:
Trinny and Susannah would be proud: posture, attitude, a lack of self-consciousness all come together to make this one priest who will send every woman to Gammarelli's for her boyfriend's/husband's next outfit. Also present here are the self-awareness and confidence that make men so much sexier in their 40s and 50s than in their 20s. For example, Mark Harmon, voted People Magazine's "Sexiest man alive" at 35, blows his younger self *out of the water* at 56. It's a standing joke in my house that if I'm watching NCIS, you have to say my name about 3 times before I'll look away from Mark and look at you. Either that, or wait for an advert break.
However, Gorgeous Georg Gaenswein does not win THE top prize for looking good in robes. That, I'm afraid, goes to Judge John Deed...
...who manages to look dead sexy in red robes and a wig - at 62. I have to say, I wouldn't kick him out of my bed for eating crackers - and I wouldn't say that about Fr Gaenswein, cleric or no.
It has occurred to me that this post is the sort of thing that makes people refer to me as a "dark horse" - something my housemate Mark did just this weekend.
I responded, patting his knee as I walked by, "Is that because I'm so 'sensible' and 'mumsy'?"
He tactfully replied, "That might have something to do with it..."
Sounds like it's time to head into town to buy that cardigan...and those knee-high, black leather boots.
[Out of the gutter, darling, you're standing on my snorkel. You *know* who you are...]
