Saturday, 30 October 2010
An ode to chav pants
Today, I haven't left the house. Hell, I didn't leave my room till after 12.30. And after I showered, I put on the ultimate symbol of that decadent lounging: chav pants. And as I stared at that bling and felt the velour under my fingers, I felt my creative expression begin to flow, so I grabbed the nearest piece of kitchen roll and began composing. With apologies to Keats:
Chav pants, O chav pants,
Blue velour and diamante,
that lead me into sloth
the Inferno of Dante.
O Chav pants,
your various styles
the subject of much discussion:
My head feels like I've had a concussion.
But even though my head hurts,
I must thank you, o chav pants:
the comfort of your elasticated waist and soft touch
spare my friends many Facebook rants.
*to non-British readers, definition of chav here.