On choosing a title

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
--William Butler Yeats

When I decided not to break from this blog completely, I knew it needed to be completely redesigned to fit me. A good friend had just created a new blogger site, so I knew there were more options. I didn't expect to find one that made me go 'YES', as there weren't a lot of options. Then I found the antique maps. Fabulous. And the fact that a deep burgundy was an option (though the other colours were gorgeous), made it even more fabulous. The 'About me' was nearly four years old. That was easily sorted with some minor editing.

Easy enough. But now, the tough part - the title. 'Out of the frying pan...into the friary?' referred to my last job with the Dominicans.

Lose the title, clearly. But WHAT?

I'm training to be a psychotherapist, so I wanted that to get that angle in. Love Jung, so he needed a nod. Definitely want to discuss sex in this blog, so 'sensual', check. Want to discuss my path to God - so 'spiritual'. Loving the juxtaposition of those two. And I'm terribly sensible. So...

Sensible, spiritual, sensual psycho...therapist?

Mmmmmmmmm. Missing something. I'm a twilight girl, I love the night, the underworld, the world of intuition. I almost never pay attention to shiny surfaces or the shallows - I move into the dark and the deep quickly.

HOW to bring that into it? I was going to give it up, until Cloister and I ended up discussing it on facebook:

Hey! It looks great! I LOVE the colour! What you thinking in terms of title? ARe you going to keep it will religious musings? Could you have something that sums up the thought, 'If SHE didn't say YES, you lot would be *********'? Go for something cheeky anyhow! xx

I want to change the title, definitely. I would LOVE to have that idea, but I'll be talking about psychotherapy, dreams, etc. too. Ideas? What suits me?

Jungian thought? Musings of an INFJ? (what are you?) Or literary ref. Yeats: 'Had I the heavens embroidered cloths, enwrought with golden silver light, the blue and the dim and the dark cloths, of night and light and the half-light, I would spread the cloths under your dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet, tread softly because you tread on my dreams.' Yeats - My favourite, and it suits you. Would inspire the title 'Tread Softly', or 'the night and half light of dreams' or dreaming night and half light' or, to combine religion and dreams, perhaps, 'The half light of the cloths of heaven', 'Heaven's Night', etc - you play with words! xxxx

And there it was - that electric 'yes' - when I saw the second title suggestion in her last sentence. A title that was home. My twilight title, that allowed for a subtitle about sensuality, spirituality and psycho...therapy.

I look at my blog now and I love it - I've played with the name for comments, links, rating buttons...and it's completely and utterly mine.

Also, I learned a valuable lesson: I don't have to struggle through it all - even something as simple as finding a blog name - alone.

Sometimes, even I need to get by with a little help from my friends.

New beginnings

...and it's about time.

I'm sure my (few) readers sensed the energy ebbing from this blog as much as I did. Part of it was that I was writing a lot of facebook notes that then got copied here, so there was never any fresh, creative energy at the blog, because nothing started here.

But most of it was that I was - and am - going through some big changes. I love writing; it's my catharsis - but I haven't been in an emotional space to really write for a very long time.

It was once pointed out to me that after being through a dark night of the soul, one has to recommit oneself to one's life: not just carry on with it, but renew one's vows with life and the world above passionately and deeply. Sometimes it takes longer than we think; often, each time we go to the underworld, the pull gets stronger and recommitting becomes harder.

Always, we are profoundly changed.

This has been a long, intense trip down under for me, beginning almost a year ago - and I'm a nighttime/underworld girl by nature. Resurfacing, recommitting, deciding to be here with my whole heart and soul, when there was a huge part of me that just wanted a 'do over' (I believe in reincarnation) took a very, very long time.

But here I am - and instead of leaving the twilight behind, ever yearning for it, I bring it with me. Hence the title (thanks to Elaine) from Yeats.

And so, I write again. I thought about a new blog, but the Jungian in me wouldn't let me create that false division: even though I feel light years away from the person who started this blog, I am still she - MORE she, not less. Older, deeper, more authentic. To distance myself from her would have been wrong - for without her, I wouldn't be here now.

Same blog, but a new design and a title that is truly me. I can see Jung nodding his approval - not, of course, that I need it ;-).

And so, my friends, here we go: after life, death, then life again. It will ever be so.

Join me, if you will, as I cast off on this new voyage - but bear in mind that it will not be certain, tame or safe, for, like George Eliot:

I would not creep along the coast, but steer out in mid-sea by guidance of the stars.

Oh - and I have no idea where I'm going.

Still interested?

Then grab your sextant, a bottle of wine and...all aboard!