Well, I've finally done it.
After university, I did a stint phone counseling at a suicide hotline, and I remember being completely absorbed by the training. I went back to uni to take some psychology courses, hoping to go to graduate school in psychology, but I needed to work, so that never got off the ground.
I've taught, been a librarian, but my heart has always been in psychology/counselling. It shows up in my favourite television shows, what I read, how I behave, what I listen for.
But when it came to going for it as a career, I made all kinds of excuses. I'm not sure why; part of it is that growing up with parents obsessed by academic work to the exclusion of everything else meant I couldn't bear the thought of more. There was also the excuse of time, money, age, you name it, I found it.
But vocation is vocation. I've been told over and over that it's an area of strength for me, person after person has asked if I am/have thought about it/why not/and so on. And over the years, my interest in the area has grown, not waned. And somehow, I just gravitate towards people who hurt. This year, I gave in and said 'yes' to the universe.
I'm on a course to train as a psychotherapist. And I can't wait for it to start.
KJ asked me: So why do you want to go in to psychotherapy? You're clearly good at reading people, but I'm guessing it's more than just having the natural talent?
I say so much on this blog that it must be hard to believe that I find this hard to articulate - but those things closest to the heart are. For this 'why', there aren't words. It's just...what I do.
But perhaps music and words can express what I can't:
"Don't give up, 'cos you have friends,
Don't give up, you're not beaten yet
Don't give up, I know you can make it good..."
I want to be part of helping people see that, helping them find *their* way, not anyone else's:
"Don't give up, 'cos somewhere there's a place where we belong."
It's gonna be all right, even if it's not what you expected. Hang in there.
And if you need a hand, here's one to hold till you can make it on your own.