tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33689950.post1312048609151512174..comments2023-09-24T13:36:00.981+01:00Comments on The night and half-light of dreams: Christmas voidPragmatic Mystic http://www.blogger.com/profile/08877990361303745003noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33689950.post-81629260122630545232008-12-27T12:41:00.000+00:002008-12-27T12:41:00.000+00:00How can you even ask for time after seeing that?Se...How can you even ask for time after seeing that?<BR/><BR/>Several reasons: one is that you are worth it too. Two is that you are just as good as everyone else (or better, in many people's minds. Three is that he may want to do something for you (if he can be kind in the way you just described, chances are he will also be able to care). Four is that sometimes when people ask for help they are also tacitly acknowledging that they trust and honour that person enough to let them enter into the dark parts that they'd trust few others to do so. You are worth so much more than that...<BR/>Yours ever,<BR/><BR/>Anon llAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33689950.post-68725341596009965602008-12-27T12:06:00.000+00:002008-12-27T12:06:00.000+00:00Dear Ari and Anon II, First of all, a huge *HUG* t...Dear Ari and Anon II, <BR/><BR/>First of all, a huge *HUG* to both of you. I know how difficult I *can* be - not least from the way I am at the O most of the time, except with a very few. My faults are about the size of the San Andreas, and there are more than a few of them. Thank you - it means a lot to know that my presence has made a difference to you both.<BR/><BR/>Ari - <BR/><BR/>[What struck me when I read this was a sense that you're trying to prove yourself to someone anyway. Who, and why?]<BR/><BR/>Hey, *I'M* the only one allowed to ask the tough, perceptive questions ;). As soon as I read this, I knew you were right, and had to think. Myself and God, above all, I think. My parents, maybe, but I need to consider that more.<BR/><BR/>I need to think about that one: I have a really uncomfortable feeling that it has a lot to do with a sense of making up for others who I feel don't do enough - parents, etc. I need to explore that more, and I'll do that with you in a more private forum.<BR/><BR/>Anon II - Bless you, sweetheart. HUGE hug, and that bubble bath is a most wonderful idea on a chilly day such as this.<BR/><BR/>And a further cleric example: last week, one reacted perfectly on noticing (and I was surprised he did) that I was heading for this: he looked at me, asked "What's wrong?" and on my reaction, put an arm around me. Yes, I would speak to him about this, absolutely.<BR/><BR/>Within hours, he was dealing with someone else's crisis, and I have a really good idea of how much energy he put into it over the next couple of days. I also have a pretty good sense that a lot of people lean on him.<BR/><BR/>How can I even *ask* for his time after seeing that? <BR/><BR/>IxxPragmatic Mystic https://www.blogger.com/profile/08877990361303745003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33689950.post-65243555824361934562008-12-27T10:06:00.000+00:002008-12-27T10:06:00.000+00:00I would agree hugely with what Ari is saying. You ...I would agree hugely with what Ari is saying. You really go out of your way for so many people, and have made so much difference in their lives.<BR/><BR/>Also, you speak of oases in your life in that there are people you talk to and discuss things in depth. Keep them. They are gold dust (just like you are gold dust to them, me, and other friends of yours).<BR/><BR/>Choose a really special cleric? Why? Priests do not necessarily have the monopoly on helping, although there are some who would be good. Mind you, your reaction to those who have shoulders that are being used is only too true. But you have needs too...<BR/><BR/>I suppose it all boils down to your words at the end of the blog - the Christ Child would like you as you are. And does like you as you are. Because not only are you special and perfect as a person, but you will always (in the mind of the Christ Child and in many of your friends, I'm one of them, I hope!) be special.<BR/><BR/>Burn out at Christmas? Yes, I've had that for a while now...And I think that part of that is because I try (but usually fail) to do too much, and do not allow enough time for myself, and do not allow myself time to be.<BR/><BR/>A priest I know of once told a parishioner after confession to go outside the confessional and have a fag (cigarette!!!). At the risk of being sacrilegious, I would almost dare to tell/suggest to you to go have a luxurious bubble bath, with lit candles and maybe even calm music playing. Pamper yourself. You are worth it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33689950.post-65524519982484566772008-12-26T16:04:00.000+00:002008-12-26T16:04:00.000+00:00*big hug*Of all the people I know, you are the one...*big hug*<BR/><BR/>Of all the people I know, you are the one who least needs to justify her existence or prove herself. You do so many things for so many people, and touch and change so many lives in the process... and you get so little appreciation from it. All too often people just use what you have to offer, never thinking of the energy it demands of you. Even, sometimes, those of us who love you and ought to know better.<BR/><BR/>You don't need to prove yourself to anyone, she'enedra. You've already proved yourself many, many times over, and those of us who are honoured and blessed to call you friend know that. Nor, I think, do you need to justify yourself to God, who knows better than any of <I>us</I> what you have done for the world. <BR/><BR/>What struck me when I read this was a sense that you're trying to prove yourself to someone anyway. Who, and why?<BR/><BR/>Ari.xxCEADhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04778999811353354648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33689950.post-52257238753463079982008-12-26T10:36:00.000+00:002008-12-26T10:36:00.000+00:00Hi, Anon,I hear you, I really do. It's just that I...Hi, Anon,<BR/><BR/>I hear you, I really do. It's just that I see way too much of the sleeve-tugging that goes on by those who think that if their child so much as DARES to question a point of Catholic doctrine, it's "FATHER! FATHER! CRISIS!"<BR/><BR/>At which point I want to tug on their sleeve and say, "You don't know crisis, do you? How about a six-month stint in DRC? Or the cholera epidemic in Zim? It might give you some perspective. And maybe a life, so your child can have one too."<BR/><BR/>It makes me think that if *I* turn to them and say, "*I* need to talk," it will mean that I'm like...the needy, manipulative ones who suck them dry. *Shudder*<BR/><BR/>No, it doesn't matter that it would be one conversation; that I know it's not a real crisis; or that I'd take responsibility for MY problem and bring something to the table for solving it - that we'd be more like equal partners in this. <BR/><BR/>I'd still feel like a burden. <BR/><BR/>I need to get past it, I know. But every day I walk into church (even better, if we're on our way to lunch/coffee) and see that tableau of emotionally needy parishioner and priest, I feel ill, and something in me recoils at the idea of asking them to help.<BR/><BR/>Heck, it takes me MONTHS to arrange lunch/dinner with them. Can't imagine what the waiting list is for needing to talk.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for the John of the Cross suggestion - frankly, I'd rather find a parallel translation, so I could read him in the original Spanish, with the occasional glance over if I needed it. I'll have a hunt round.<BR/><BR/>Cheers - stuff to think about, definitely.<BR/><BR/>xxPragmatic Mystic https://www.blogger.com/profile/08877990361303745003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33689950.post-5790871616211695462008-12-25T22:53:00.000+00:002008-12-25T22:53:00.000+00:00OK, first of all, though I can see where you're co...OK, first of all, though I can see where you're coming from that is what those clerics are there for. It's, essentially, their job description. Give one of them a go... one you really, really trust. <BR/><BR/>Also, try reading some John of the Cross. You might also find 'Come Be My Light: The Private Writings of the “Saint of Calcutta”’ Ed. Brian Kolodiejchuk interesting. <BR/><BR/>Just a thought.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com