This morning (thanks to a friend who posted about 'St Elmo's Fire') was an 80s soundtrack to annual monitoring reports, emails, etc. Beginning with John Parr, it ended with Right Said Fred. For some reason, as I listened to Right Said Fred on loop, the thought of writing a paean to our altar servers took root and wouldn't let go. So with deepest apologies to the Fairbrass brothers, here is my humble offering:
I'm too pious for my Lord, too pious for my Lord
Lord’s going to leave me
I'm too sexy for my cotta, too sexy for my cotta
Could I be...any hotta
And I'm too sexy for Milan, too sexy for Milan
NY and the Vatican
I'm too rigid to cope with doubt
To deal with the unexpected
No way I'm problem-solving!
I'm a server, you know what I mean
And I do my little turn by the altar
Yeah by the altar, by the altar yeah
I do my little turn by the altar
I am such a little star, such a little star
Totes awesome by far
And I'm so in love with my lace
so in love with my lace - puts you plebs in your place
I'm a server, you know what I mean
And I do my little turn by the altar
Yeah by the altar, by the altar yeah
I shake the little bell by the altar
I'm too pious for my…
too sexy for my…
too awesome for my…
I'm a server, you know what I mean
And I do my little turn by the altar
Yeah by the altar, by the altar yeah
I swing my thurible by the altar
I know better than the MC, won’t listen to the MC
Who screwed up? Oh, that was ME!
I'm too pious for my Lord, too pious for my Lord
Lord’s going to leave me
And I'm too po-faced for this song
